


Falling Into Chaos

by fullyajar



Category: True Blood
Genre: Angst, Blood Bond, Dream Sex, F/F, Fear, Female Relationships, Vampire Bites
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-29
Updated: 2014-07-05
Packaged: 2018-02-06 18:54:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1868685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fullyajar/pseuds/fullyajar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Adilyn has never felt more dangerously and more marvelously like prey.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My take on what happened after that electric scene between Jessica and Adilyn in 7x01. Written (or at least, started) before the events of 7x02, so ignore those.

The smoke that tainted the glass above her door has cleared. The paint is blistered like cracks in desert sand. Dark shadows gather at the frames around the glass, smudges of ashes of recently deceased vampire that Adilyn would rather not think about. But she can’t help it. She stares at the brown sheen on the glass without really seeing it. Her heart is still beating in her chest a mile a minute, tapping against the inside of her ribs like a jackrabbit.

She still can’t wrap her mind around what just happened. The last ten hours run through her thoughts on repeat, a blur of confusion in her sleep-deprived mind.

Jessica pledging to protect her and staring down the barrel of her father’s gun as her first act of loyalty.

_I meant it._

The Hep-V-riddled vampire framed in the moonlight like a bruise on pale white skin, spitting words about her like she were the last meal of a criminal on death row.

_She’s mine._

The coppery taste of Jessica’s blood as it dripped down her throat, terrifying and reassuring at the same time.

_I am not leaving._

The smoke that even Adilyn could see from her home-turned prison, dancing off of Jessica’s skin as dawn approached.

_I invite you in!_

Jessica’s guilt-wracked eyes wide with regret as she released her, her cold hands replaced by warm summer air and hard floor.

_Jessica._

It’s a moment before Adilyn realizes she’s said the vampire’s name out loud. She brings her hand to her lips.

Why’d she say it?

She looks up the stairs, wondering if the vampire has heard. Wondering if Jessica can hear everything she says, everything she thinks, everything she feels – now that she’s drunk her blood.

She licks her lips and realizes she can still taste it, the smear on the inside of her bottom lip a reminder of this screwed up night. She moves to wipe her hand across her lips, and watches as it shakes when she sets it back on the ground.

This wasn’t how the night was supposed to go. It was supposed to – Jessica wasn’t supposed to… Well, Adilyn’s not sure how it _was_ supposed to go, but definitely not the way it went. Maybe just with she and Jessica talking, taking tentative steps at finding common ground among everything Jessica had broken. It would be slow going and painful to blindly and barefootedly navigate the landscape of broken glass that currently spanned the space between them, but they’d made a start.

And then…

She glances at the smoke-stained window again, and quickly averts her eyes.

Slowly, she picks herself up off the ground. Her hands are still trembling, but the sun shining through the glass reassures her. It’s daylight, and the only vampire she need fear at the moment is locked away for that exact reason.

She glances to the top of the stairs as she begins to scale them, and the memory of Jessica’s hands on her makes its way back to her thoughts. Her grip on her leg, tilting her body into her steady arm. The brush of her fingertips over the back of her neck. The press of fingers into her shoulder as the redhead sucked in a breath to taste the scent of her.

Her heart is racing again. And it has nothing to do with climbing the stairs.

It’s fear.

_And… something else._

She frowns, the voice as unfamiliar as when she hears a stranger’s thoughts inside her head.

But then she’s at the attic door, and she wonders when this became her destination. She presses a hand against her chest to control her heartbeat because even if she’s naïve about a lot of things, she knows vampires can hear a cricket miles away, let alone a scared girl’s rabid heartbeat.

Except… she’s not scared. Not really.

Her hand flattens against her chest – and yes, it’s still beating, fast, but it’s not fear after all.

She _was_ scared. Before. Terrified, actually. The small step she took across the threshold when she invited Jessica in had felt like a mile, her fear holding her feet down like lead. But as soon as Jessica’s hand clamped around her wrist and pulled her into the house, all she felt was _relief._

She glances at her feet, and at the sliver of darkness underneath the attic door behind which Jessica is only a few feet away, be it sleeping soundly in the darkness or standing attentively listening to her rabbit heart.

The relief she’d felt at safety, at home, at Jessica’s body pressed against her when she’d pulled her into the house was short-lived, because the lustful, hungry look in Jessica’s eyes was shockingly familiar. A few weeks ago, it was the last thing she’d seen before she’d passed out in a pool of her own and her sisters’ blood.

She closes her eyes at the memory, and steels her jaw. She doesn’t cry anymore, and even if she did, her eyes would be dry as parchment now nonetheless. She’s let go of the anger that used to constrict her throat until she was choking on her own sobs.

She _doesn’t_ hate Jessica.

Because as quickly as the vampire’s proximity had called back vivid memories of her fangs sinking into her thigh; as quickly as her hands had scrambled against Jessica’s shoulders, pushing back futilely against the girl’s steel grip; as quickly as the look of hunger had appeared – it had all faded with the way Jessica’s face had fallen instantly, the starved half-smile replaced by a vulnerable frown of remorse and fear at what she’d been about to do – _again._  

She’d let her go.

_She’d_ _let her go._

She shakes her head to clear the mess of emotions that that realization brings up, and she tries to sort them out, to reason through why _._

_Why?_

She doesn’t know what she smells like to vampires. She doesn’t understand the intense fascination they have with her ( _and_ had _with my sisters,_ she thinks bitterly), but she’d seen the way every vampire had reacted to her, however subtle and obviously unbidden the reactions were. Flared nostrils. Sharp intakes of breath. Subdued swallows of restraint. And a feral look of lust that made her understand instantly why her father hated and feared vampires. They can’t resist her. And her family had paid dearly for their naivety.

But Jessica had let her go.

_Why?_

She knows the vampire hasn’t eaten in a while. She doesn’t know how long a vampire can go without blood, but hungry is hungry – human, fairy, halfling, or, clearly, vampire. And she’d heard the subdued sobs on the porch and seen the blood in her eyes as she grieved for her friend and for her guilt. Jessica’s anything but weak, but at the moment, she’s anything but strong nonetheless.

And still she’d let her go.

Because – as far as Adilyn can see – Jessica would give anything to take back what she’s done and to give Adilyn back her sisters. And the last thing Jessica had wanted to do – no matter how much Adilyn’s blood, her own hunger, her pain, or her very _being_ had called out for her to sink her teeth into Adilyn’s neck – was to hurt her.

So she doesn’t hate Jessica. She can’t. Perhaps she’s too innocent, too naïve – her father had said as much as he’d cried angry tears at his daughters’ funeral – but she’d been on the brink of forgiving Jessica since the moment she stood strong against her father’s threats earlier that night. The rest of the night had only confirmed she had been right in being on that brink. She may not be able to read the vampire’s mind, but it didn’t take telepathy to read the remorse and regret dripping from every pore of the girl’s being as she watched silently over the house or the determination and loyalty as she faced the dawn for her charge. And though she’d been scared for her life tonight as much because of her potential rapist and murderer as because of her protector, she knows, in the end, she’d been right to trust Jessica.

Adilyn rests her hand against the wood of the door to the attic, and sighs, letting every strangled, raw emotion slide off her like rain, and realizes what she has left.

Relief.

Forgiveness.

And utter exhaustion.

With another sigh of relief, she presses her hand against the door, whispers “Sleep well, Jessica,” and slips quietly down the stairs to her bedroom.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for some uncertain consent from Adilyn in the beginning of the sex scene, when hunger blurs with lust. 
> 
> Also, playful warning for a lot of tension, teasing, and aborted starts.

When she wakes, it’s dark again, and she smiles sleepily, sheepishly. Sure, she’d been up all last night, but sleeping from six to nine is rather excessive.

 _Maybe Jessica is rubbing off on me – I’m sleeping like a vampire all of a sudden_.

She laughs out loud at that, and surprises herself at how carefree she sounds – as though the last night of terror and confusion and danger (and forgiveness) hadn’t happened at all.

The bedside light clicks on.

“What’s so funny?”

Jessica’s voice, seductive as velvet, startles her, and she shoots up in bed.

“What are you doing here?”

Jessica smiles wickedly, and presses her tongue against her teeth playfully. She’s sitting on the vanity with her pale legs crossed under a criminally short skirt. Her skin is shining from heel-clad foot to thigh and above, and her pale, slim back is reflected in triplicate in the three mirrors of the vanity. It takes Adilyn embarrassingly long to realize she’s only wearing a bra ( _red lace)_ , and she blurts out her confusion, cutting Jessica off.

“… and why are you shirtless?”

Jessica laughs breezily.

“At least _I’m_ still wearing a bra,” she says pointedly, nodding at Adilyn.

She glances down at herself, and realizes with a sharp intake of breath that Jessica’s right and she’s completely naked. _Crap._ She pulls the sheets up to cover herself, and sends a sharp look in Jessica’s direction. In return, Jessica just leers, her smile growing wider as Adilyn’s frown turns more petulant.

“Why didn’t you wake me? Have you just been staring at me, sleeping, naked, since sundown?”

Jessica quirks her head playfully.

“You looked so _delicious._ ”

Adilyn’s eyebrows shoot up at that, and she pulls the sheets higher. Jessica laughs again.

“Oh, please.” She rakes her eyes over Adilyn’s body suggestively. “It’s just us girls.”

Her eyes never stop their trek as they slide across every inch of her body under the thin sheet like she hopes to burn the material away with a stare. Adilyn shifts uncertainly. When the redhead’s eyes finally make it back to hers, her smile is positively hungry.

She swallows thickly, pushing down the twinge of fear.

“Wh-what…” Her voice breaks, and she scrapes it self-consciously. “What are you doing here?”

“Well, I’m _trying_ to change.” She hops down from the vanity. Adilyn blinks and Jessica’s on the other side of the room. She pulls back, startled, and then suppresses an eyeroll.

Jessica ruffles through her closet, pulling out and putting back pieces at top speed. “Why do you have, like, _only_ kids’ clothes?”

“Oh.” A beat. “My dad and I didn’t have time to go shopping since I outgrew them.”

Jessica’s lips quick in a cheeky grin, and suddenly her miniskirt is dangling from her forefinger.

“Well, in that case, I’m taking this off, because as much as I like short skirts, wearing a 12-year old’s skirt as a miniskirt just seems _wrong_.”

The miniskirt drops to the floor, and before she knows what she’s doing, Adilyn’s eyes drop down Jessica’s body, taking in her high black heels, her creamy skin bathed in shadows cast by the dim bedside light, her red lace slip, the dip of darkness across her bellybutton, the curve of her breasts above the thin, nearly translucent fabric of her red bra –

Before she can bring her eyes any higher, the vampire moves – fast – and suddenly all she sees is Jessica: bright red lips pulled back in a teasing smile; flawless, glowing skin framed by flowing red locks; dark lashes holding still above bright blue eyes sparkling with curiosity and delight.

“Like what you see?”

Jessica holds her gaze, and Adilyn breathes out nervously, acutely awake of Jessica’s closeness. Her hands press on either side of her hips; a knee rests on the sheets, pulling taut the fabric over her body; her face hovers inches away, steadier than any human’s could ever be, and Adilyn is having trouble breathing, let alone replying.

“I – ”

“Because I certainly do.” Jessica smiles again, and drops her gaze down. Adilyn follows, and then lets out a small squeak of surprise to see herself uncovered again, the sheets lying lazily over her hips but her upper body completely nude. Her hands scramble for the sheets as Jessica’s smile grows and she looks on in amusement.

“Stop doing that,” Adilyn mutters when she’s decent again. Although, ‘decent’ is relative when there’s a half-naked vampire hovering above her, looking at her like she were a melting ice-cream on a hot summer’s day.

“Doing what?” An eyebrow quirks in mock innocence.

“ _Looking._ ”

Jessica lets out a small chuckle and licks her lips.

“Alright.”

She smiles again, winks, and then closes her eyes.

Alright, that was not really what she meant.

Adilyn’s whole body is frozen, hands wrapped tightly in the sheets held to her bare breasts, and she searches Jessica’s face for a trace of emotion. The redhead hasn’t moved a millimeter, and Adilyn is mesmerized again. Her heart is whirring in her chest like a teased magnet, and every detail jumps out at her: the pink patch of skin showing on the inside of Jessica’s lips where her lipstick ends; the wild corkscrew curl tucked behind her ear like a misbehaving child in the naughty corner; the unnaturally flawless eyeliner traced below her eyelashes – _when did she clean off the blood?_

Suddenly she’s dizzy, and she realizes she’s holding her breath. She lets it out softly, barely daring to breathe in Jessica’s proximity.

The small gust of breath sounds like a whirlwind in the silent room.

Jessica’s nostrils flare. A corner of her mouth twitches. When she speaks, the sound nearly stops Adilyn’s frightened heart.

“You know as a vampire, I barely even need my sight anyway. Every other sense is heightened like you couldn’t even imagine.”

Adilyn swallows thickly.

“Your heart sounds like horse in gallop.”

Her hand comes up on the headboard of the bed so fast, Adilyn barely even sees the movement. Jessica is imperceptibly closer, and her arm casts a shadow across Adilyn’s face where it hovers next to her temple.

“Four beats.” Her fingers tap out the rhythm quickly on the wood. It matches Adilyn’s heartbeat exactly. “Fast.” _Tap-tap-tap-tap._ A pause, and the silence hangs thickly between them as Jessica raises an eyebrow. “Are you nervous?”

She doesn’t know how she’s going to answer when every fiber of her being is tense and taut and she can feel her blood pounding in her ears and she’s caught between holding her breath to avoid tempting Jessica closer, and letting it all go to do exactly that – and _that’s_ a terrifying enough thought all on its own – so she just nods. It takes her a moment to realize Jessica can’t see her, but –

“I felt that.”

She lets her breath go after all. Jessica tilts her head and moves closer. The sheets scratch across her skin as Jessica’s knee pulls it up.

“You nodded. A shift in the air – subtle.” She pauses again, and Adilyn can see every eyelash and tiny imperfection on her skin. The tension builds, and Adilyn thinks her skin will burst from the way every inch of it feels like a spring under pressure, being held back by reason when all she wants is… is… _release._

“Your heart just skipped a beat.”

She felt it. It does it again. Jessica smiles in response.

And then suddenly her hand is at the back of her neck and at the dip in her hip and she’s held tight in the vampire’s embrace as the girl grazes her lips along her neck and whispers darkly by her ear:

“And you smell irresistible.”

Her heart stops. Her ragged breath freezes in her throat before it can make its way onto her dry, lightly parted lips, her eyes fly open, and her body is no longer humming with… with… _whatever_ it was she was feeling. Suddenly it’s taut with fear.

_Oh, God, no, no. Not again. Please…_

She wants to say it, but the words don’t come out. Her heart speeds up impossibly faster, and her hands seem to slip on the sheets as they turn clammy from the dread oozing from her pores. Jessica’s hand tightens on her neck, nails digging into her skin to keep her steady, and the vampire pulls her closer while her lips slide down to her throat like the flat plane of cold steel across her skin, needing only a twist of the knife to become lethal. _No…_ Adilyn is frozen in fear – she doesn’t move, she couldn’t move if she wanted to. Her body wants to _run, run, run_ , but her mind is too petrified to want anything but _mercy, mercy, mercy!_

There’s a click by her ear and two sharp points of strong enamel on her throat, and _this can’t be happening – not again!_

“No…”

She doesn’t know how the word squeezed out when her throat is clamped in fear, internally cowering from Jessica’s inevitable bite, but she whimpers the small, no doubt infinitely-futile word nonetheless, her whole momentary soul caught up in those two small letters.

The fangs tracing the skin of her throat, threatening to break the surface with every millisecond that brings her closer to her certain death, disappear, and the hand at the back of her neck slips into her hair as Jessica moves into her line of vision. Her mouth is open, fangs free and terrifying, but her eyebrows are nearly touching with the concern and confusion traced across her face. Her eyes quickly fly across Adilyn’s face, and Adilyn’s vision blurs with unshed tears at knowing this is _again_ the last thing she’ll see.

Then: “Oh, God.”

A beat, and Adilyn shuts her eyes tightly. Maybe if she can’t see it, she’ll wake up, she’ll wake up and it’s all a dream and none of it happened and –

“No! Oh, God. No, that’s not what I – Adilyn!”

She doesn’t dare look – she shouldn’t look, it’s all just a dream, she’s going to wake up any second. _It has to be a dream._

But then Jessica _shakes_ her gently – and it’s the confusion that _that_ evokes more than anything else that makes her eyes creak open tentatively.

Jessica is searching her face, her eyebrows still pulled together in distress and her lips pressed together tightly to hide her fangs. When she catches Adilyn’s eyes, she blurts out, a desperate edge to her voice: “I’m not going to hurt you!”

Adilyn’s responding laugh is high-pitched and hopeless with fear and defeat – she barely recognizes the sound. But she knows how these things end. She’s seen it with her sisters. And Jessica’s hands are as solid and constricting as when she’d first grabbed her – as tight as last night, as unrelenting as a few weeks ago. Her laugh threatens to break into a sob, and she swallows it back.

“You said I smell irresistible,” she strains out.

“To my lust, not my appetite!”

Jessica’s reply is instant, and there’s an edge of relief to the desperation – like this is all a misunderstanding and Jessica’s found the solution to make it all better – but it takes a moment for it to sink in. Her heart is still pounding, and her mind is drowning in adrenaline – neither able to fight nor to fly – and thoughts come late and slow and –

_To my lust._

_Wait… what?_

“To your… “

A pause.

Jessica continues to look at her, searching her face – pleading. Her fingertips are pressed into the skin at her hairline in her neck, holding her close, and her other hand has shifted to the small of her back, holding her steady, and suddenly, Adilyn doesn’t feel the trapped in her embrace like she did last night – she feels the safety of the moment Jessica stepped into the house, of the moment she knew it would all be alright. She feels the relief again, and her heart could jump out of her chest from the swell of it – Jessica isn’t going to hurt her. 

And then she feels the rest. Her mind calms, her heartbeat slows to a gallop, and she sucks in a surprised breath – because without the fear, she feels the tension again, the thrill in the air in the little space left between she and Jessica’s body. She feels the pounding throughout her body and the heat of her own skin contrasting against the cool press of Jessica’s fingers and knows she wants her to press _harder_. She feels the pressure of Jessica’s thigh against the inside of her own – she hadn’t even noticed the movement – and realizes she wants it _closer._ She feels the scratch of the sheets across her body and knows that it’s the only thing separating she and Jessica from skin on skin – and _oh God,_ she wants that.

The press of the vampire’s body against her, her fangs on her neck, the lips by her ear – they weren’t a threat, but a question.

“Oh.”

Jessica’s eyebrows knit impossibly tighter in confusion.

She nearly rolls her eyes at herself at the anticlimactic conclusion to this bombshell of realizations and train wreck of miscommunication.

_Good one, Adilyn._

There isn’t much she can say though, so she just smiles, trying to pour her relief into the single expression.

It works. Jessica’s face smoothes out with equal relief, and she matches her smile. The moment she does, though, her fangs spring loose onto her bottom lip, and she brings her hand to her mouth, covering them in embarrassment.

“Sorry. They come out when… well, when you’re looking and smelling like _that_ , basically.”

Silence falls, and her mind whirs with questions and requests – _Do you want me because of my blood? Put your hand back. What were you going to do to me? Come closer. Why am I so attracted to you? Kiss me._

But Jessica seems to take the silence as a graceful rejection, and she moves away.

“No. Wait.”

The words fall from Adilyn’s mouth before she can stop them, and Jessica freezes as Adilyn grabs her retreating form halfway across the bed. Her hands rest lightly on both of Jessica’s arms like an invitation, and the vampire looks at her in surprise.

Inevitably, her eyes flit down across Adilyn’s bare chest. The free sheets pool across her hips.

Her hands move to pull the sheets up, and Jessica looks away – and that’s _not_ what she wants at all. Her hand freezes on the sheets and there’s a beat where she takes in Jessica’s abashed form across from her ( _Jessica, abashed?_ ) and she feels… _bold._ She can feel her heart beat strongly in her throat and her fingers tingle as though her longest nerves are vibrating in anticipation.

She brings her hands back to Jessica’s arms and leaves the sheets where they are.

Jessica looks at her (her eyes pass quickly across her body) in surprise. And then the sparkle of curiosity returns to her eyes and she smiles and tilts her head like she’s asking a question.

Adilyn knows what she’s asking.

She doesn’t answer. Because _she_ wants to pull Jessica close and bring her hand to the back of her neck and kiss her and say _yes_ instead of _no_ – but how the hell can she expect to pull a _vampire_ close with nothing but her halfling hands and strength?

Perhaps she doesn’t need to.

Jessica presses her fingers into the bed and walks them tantalizingly slowly up across the sheets on either side of Adilyn’s body, bringing her closer deliberate step by deliberate step. Adilyn’s fingers slide up across Jessica’s arms, her skin slipping away beneath her fingers like velvet.

Adilyn swallows subtly.

She may be suddenly bold and clear in what she wants, but she’s nervous nonetheless. Because the hunger is back in Jessica’s sparkling eyes. And her lips retract slightly so that her fangs catch the dim light and shine like fluorescent stars in the dark. And her shoulders tilt subtly as she closes the distance between them – up and down, up and down – and all Adilyn can think of is a prowling panther. And Adilyn has never felt more dangerously and more marvelously like prey.

Her breath releases in a shudder, and she knows Jessica can feel it on her lips and can smell her skin and can hear her heartbeat because there’s only an inch or two between their faces now. Jessica’s hand traces a hand along Adilyn’s arm where it rests on her shoulder and smiles when she feels Adilyn’s hands entwining behind her neck. The vampire’s eyes flit quickly to her lips before she closes them with a lustful but reassuring smile and leans forward. 

“What do I smell like?”

_Crap._

It’s a cop-out, and they both know it.

Jessica pulls back and searches Adilyn’s eyes with a curious expression – asking the same question she did before. Adilyn swallows nervously, but doesn’t pull away. She thinks briefly that Jessica will, but then the vampire smiles subtly like she understands something. It must be something that Adilyn must not be getting. But it’s not hard to realize why when her body is in fight or flight again, her heart hammering in her chest in an impossible amalgam of fear and excitement. Her hands are still entwined behind Jessica’s neck, and she has to resist the temptation to pull them away and rest them on Jessica’s shoulders again – like last night – just to get some semblance of _control_ in all this. Because she’s so fucking _nervous_.

Nervous enough to curse, apparently.

Jessica’s knowing smile hasn’t faded, and with a cheeky quirk of an eyebrow, she moves one of her hands to Adilyn’s bare skin on her hip. The touch is delicate and enigmatic, but the teasing smile on Jessica’s face suggests that it’s completely deliberate.

Adilyn resists the temptation to jump at the small touch, and focuses on keeping her breathing from hitching and quaking as her heart flutters in her chest.

“What do you mean?”

Her fingertips slide along her side, tracing a slow trek to the curve of her bare breast. Adilyn’s lips tremor with nerves and with the hint of a smile.

“I mean… you always say I smell so good or, _irresistible_ or whatever… but what do I smell like?”

Jessica smiles and brings her other hand to the back of Adilyn’s neck. Adilyn can feel fire beneath her skin when Jessica tugs lightly at her hair and presses her head to the side. Her hair tumbles across her bare shoulder, and with a quick glance at Adilyn’s face, Jessica presses her the corner of her lips below her ear and breathes in her hair.

Adilyn’s breath hitches in surprise, and her eyelids flutter closed.

“Like the inside of a bakery just before they open their doors.”

The words are left by her ear in a whisper, and Jessica’s lips brush along the shell of her ear softly.

 _Oh my God._ The temptation to move her hands to Jessica’s shoulder has disappeared. Her fingers twine into Jessica’s hair instead, and Jessica presses her fingers into her scalp in approval.

“And honeysuckle on the wind after spending weeks inside.”

Jessica’s lips move down across her neck. She can feel the sharp scrape of her fangs across her throat, but she’s not afraid, because instead of a bite, she gets a kiss on her pulse point.

 “And the warm morning smell of the love of your life before they wake. “

Her body curves into Jessica’s touch without a thought – and her fight or flight response is gone with the small movement. The vampire scoops her hand behind her back and lifts her like she’s lighter than a feather and shifts her so tantalizingly slowly and gently that she doesn’t realize they’ve moved until Jessica is hovering over her. Her face is framed by a cascade of red curls as she leans down, closes her eyes, and breathes in Adilyn’s scent.

“I swear, I could spend all night just _smelling_ you.”

This is the moment. She knows it. Jessica is waiting for _her_ now, hovering above her with both of Adilyn’s hands entwined in her hair at the back of her neck, pressing her knee into the bed between her legs without making contact, holding a hand at the curve of her breast – she’s just waiting for an invitation.

Adilyn has already invited her in.

She swallows down her nerves. Her voice doesn’t tremble.

“Well, don’t do _that_.”

Jessica smiles like she knows what’s coming, and when Adilyn pulls her down, she doesn’t hesitate to meet her halfway in a kiss that sends sparks behind Adilyn’s eyelids and flashes of light through her whole body like the kiss is activating her fairy blood.

She sincerely hopes it isn’t, because she does _not_ want to blast Jessica off of her.

Not when the vampire presses her lips against hers and slides her tongue past her lips just enough to make Adilyn arch her neck and beg wordlessly for more. Or when the waiting hand on her ribs slides up and firmly cups around her breast and Adilyn curves into the touch with an approving sigh like a knot in her comes undone. Or when Jessica lets her body fall down gently against Adilyn’s so it’s skin on skin until their hips, and Adilyn feels fire under her skin at every place where cool skin touches her.

Only when her thigh presses into the junction between Adilyn’s legs and she curses the sheets scratching across her thighs does she briefly consider the usefulness of being able to blast things away – namely the sheets keeping her from fully feeling skin on skin.

But then Jessica lets out a shuddering breath against her throat – her pulse point – and Adilyn can feel it vibrating through her whole body as though it’s taking all of the vampire’s willpower to hold herself back.

“Are you going to bite me?”

Her voice is tremulous against her will, but she isn’t scared – it’s purely passion. Raw. New. Exciting.

Jessica pulls back, her breathing ragged and her pupils dilated, but smiles teasingly nonetheless.

“Only if you ask nicely.”

Adilyn returns the smile, understanding the underlying meaning – _I can control myself._

Jessica squeezes her breast and presses her lips back to Adilyn’s in a passionate kiss and nearly kisses away the question lingering on Adilyn lips. 

“Do I taste like all that too? The bread, the flowers, the soulmate? My blood, I mean.”

Jessica’s eyes open, and her gaze shifts inward. Though Adilyn can still feel the wetness of her lips as the redhead’s ragged breathing dries them and see each spiral in her irises, suddenly the vampire is far away.

Adilyn realizes she’s asked the wrong thing, and hopes the lid of Pandora’s box won’t snap closed on her overeager fingers.

“No.” Jessica’s voice is low and torn, and her eyes have darkened so much that Adilyn can barely remember when they were bright and sparkling with desire. “You taste like falling into chaos.”

The words are puffs of air on Adilyn’s aching lips. Jessica doesn’t elaborate. Adilyn swallows the lump in her throat and presses up for a kiss again, not trusting herself to speak around the twinge of fear that has gripped her heart at Jessica’s unfathomable change.

The distraction works, and within seconds Jessica’s eyes are closed. When they open again, the darkness is gone, and the vampire brings her lips down and pulls Adilyn’s lip between her sharp teeth.

She returns everything with ardor.

The kiss turns fierce, open-mouthed, and they both breathe out harshly, raggedly, as their hearts race faster with the beat and rhythm and pulse of the kiss. Jessica cants her hips into hers, and Adilyn gasps onto her lips, a soft whine of arousal escaping from her throat. She tightens her hand in Jessica’s hair; Jessica squeezes her breast in approval. Her fingers hook into the clasp of Jessica’s bra and when it clicks open, the vampire moves like a blur out of the straps and smiles when Adilyn licks her lips at the sight.

“You _do_ like what you see,” she purrs teasingly before she kisses Adilyn’s somewhat shy smile from her lips.

Jessica is strong. Supernaturally so. But when her lips trace down her neck and her tongue shoots out against her nipple, Adilyn doesn’t feel strength – she feels nothing but pleasure and passion. When Jessica’s nails rake along her back and leave scratchmarks in her skin as though she wants to leave her mark, Adilyn doesn’t feel owned – she feels protected. And when Jessica’s hand slides down her abdomen under the sheets and brushes lightly between her legs, she doesn’t feel powerless – she feels safe.

Still, she can’t believe she’s doing this.

Jessica nudges her thighs apart with a knee and traces a pattern on the inside of her thigh, bringing her fingers closer and closer and…

_I haven’t done this before._

The thought doesn’t leave her lips, but it’s almost as though it had, because Jessica’s hand slows, and she glances at Adilyn for reassurance.

“Do you wanna keep going?”

Her chest is still rising and falling with arousal as her ragged breathing leaves her lungs. Jessica’s form is pressed along the length of her own, somehow sending heat into her body even though her skin is cold. And there’s an ache and wetness between her legs that’s calling for release as though the tension will rip her apart without Jessica’s touch, without her eagerness and passion, without the pleasure she pulls from every part of her.

“Yes.”

Jessica smiles and kisses her, hard – lips taut and eager over fangs that Adilyn is sure she couldn’t retract anymore if her life depended on it. And then her fingers slip between Adilyn’s folds and she’s _inside_ her and Adilyn’s head falls back with a gasp of unexpected pleasure.

Jessica lets her adjust, eyes never leaving her face as Adilyn’s eyebrows knit together in a vulnerable expression of happiness, but then she pulls away. Adilyn opens her eyes in confusion – because _holy crap please don’t stop_ – only to watch mesmerized as Jessica wipes her fingers across her pristine lips, followed by her tongue tracing her lips from pointed fang to pointed fang.

Adilyn’s fingernails dig into Jessica’s back as a wave of arousal tightens something low and deep inside her at the sight.

“You know, besides blood, this is one of the only tastes I can stand,” Jessica murmurs as the tip of her tongue traces her own fang.

“Convenient,” Adilyn jokes. Jessica’s smile turns wicked, and in a blur she’s gone.

Then Adilyn feels her between her legs and – _oh my god._

Her hips jerk up with a small cry, but Jessica presses her down with a steel grip and licks again, unrelenting. Soon, her skilled tongue is pulling keen cries from deep within Adilyn’s chest – sounds she never knew she could make – and she’s is writhing across the sheets. A sheen of sweat coats her body as her fingers dig into Jessica’s scalp and the nails of her other hand push indents into the inside of her clenched fist as Jessica brings her closer and closer with each decisive push and dip and flutter of her tongue. She moves on to her clit, licking and sucking it lightly into her mouth, avoiding contact of slippery skin with fangs with a skill only a vampire could muster. The tip of her tongue pushes hard against the small bundle, and Adilyn jerks again against Jessica’s resistance. Jessica slides lower, slowly lapping up the taste of her – _this_ taste of her perhaps less like falling into chaos for Jessica than it is for Adilyn – and flicks her tongue around her entrance. Adilyn wonders with a short laugh covered instantly by a moan if she needs an invitation again, but then Jessica pushes her tongue deeper and Adilyn fists her fingers in Jessica’s hair, and her eyes shut tightly as the waves of pleasure vibrate through her like fairy magic.

And she’s coming so close, she’s so – oh – she’s coming so… She’s _coming_ , she’s –

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the cliffhanger! The last chapter is almost finished, but I really wanted to post this one before the 2nd ep came out...


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In advance - I am so sorry...

She wakes with a jolt and a gasp and grasps the bed sheet as though it’s a lifeline.

It takes her a moment to realize where she is, and her eyes rake over the dark room desperately, tracing every familiar shape for an ill-fitting shadow. She’s not sure why she’s breathless and covered in sweat. Her legs are twisted in the sheets and there’s a soreness and a _pounding_ in every inch of her body.

And everything inside her is screaming one name.

And then she remembers.

It comes across her in waves of emotion and sensation that jolt into her brain, dilating her pupils and sending needle pinpricks of pain into her temples like looking into the sun through a kaleidoscope. It isn’t just the memories that hit her hard ( _You smell irresistible. You taste like falling into chaos. Do wanna keep going?_ ). She’s reading her dream-double’s thoughts as she sifts through them at triple speed, and the thoughts ( _Oh God. Why am I so attracted to you? Kiss me. What do I smell like?)_ arrive like emotional sledgehammers, knocking her back on the bed and arching her back as she gasps in pleasure.  And suddenly everything is there, taking her breath away like Jessica’s kiss, pressing against every inch of her skin like Jessica’s body, shifting inside her like Jessica’s tongue and –

( _– oh – she’s coming so… She’s coming, she’s –_ )

“Jessica!”

Her cry echoes through the empty room as she writhes in the sheets, every muscle pulled tight in pleasure at the memories, pain at the overload, shock at the fact that this is _happening,_ and fear – dreadful fear as she realizes that she just called the name of the only living creature in the house.

She was right to fear, because before she’s able to let go of her grip on the sheets or she’s taken in a gulp of air as her back jolts off the bed again, she hears Jessica’s voice – sharp and strained like emotion melted down and made steel.

“Adilyn!”

Her eyes are screwed shut with the sensations – pain, pleasure, fear – continuing to pulse through her in waves that keep knocking her back before she has the chance to take in a breath of air to struggle against the tide. Everything inside her is light. She’s caught on the wrong side of an eclipse, and everything but piercing sunshine is blocked off – bright, warm, burning. She’s going to _burn burn burn_ to ash like a vampire and isn't _that_ ironic because there’s nothing she can –

Cold hands on her cheeks. A calming hand on her shoulder, shaking her firmly. Her name.

She sucks in a breath of air.

“Adilyn, open your eyes.”

She can’t yet. She wants to, but she’s still barely breathing, her lungs recovering by the second from the lack of air.

“Adilyn, please.”

Jessica’s hip rests against her own. Her cold fingers brush gingerly across her forehead. Her nails dig worriedly into her shoulder as she shakes her. The girl is so close, so _close,_ and still Adilyn can't pull herself out of the haze.

“Shit, shit, shit, _shit._ ”

Darkness. Wonderful darkness. Because her eyes are finally open and the sunshine is gone and the room is lit only by the moonlight flowing through the open window. It’s still night – or, not _still._ Because it was all a dream.

But when she woke… what was _that_?

Jessica’s face materializes above her. Her eyebrows are pulled together with misgiving and worry and her eyes are bright and shining, the blue a sharp contrast with the blood that rims her eyes and has dried on her pale skin.

Adilyn doesn’t think she’s ever seen anything as comforting. Jessica was watching over her.

Her body moves of its own accord. Her neck aches and her head is pounding with the overload of emotions she’s experienced, but she remembers them all. And everything inside her is telling her this is right.

The hug is chaste and unromantic, but Adilyn grabs Jessica as tightly as she can, burying her face into her shoulder and molding her body against her as though she’s never letting go. The vampire is still and hard as porcelain, but Adilyn doesn’t mind (she remembers the dream, when Jessica was anything _but_ ) because just Jessica’s closeness is reassuring. She feels safe and protected, and in her heart brews the beginning of something that slinks away from her sight like a Mona Lisa smile but that feels awfully close to fondness.

“What are you doin’?” Jessica’s voice lilts in surprise. She sits unmoving and tense as Adilyn pulls her closer.

“Thanking you.”

Jessica's breath hitches, and she sits frozen for another second, but then her chin presses to the top of her head and her arms come around Adilyn’s shoulders tentatively, testing the waters without fully giving in. Adilyn doesn't let go, but presses closer and shifts her shoulders against her arms in encouragement. Slowly, Jessica's chest falls against Adilyn's embrace like something breaks inside her, a chip of porcelain off the inside of the mold. 

A gust of wind pummels through the open window, the beginnings of a storm. The wind whips Adilyn’s hair across her face.

Jessica sucks in a sharp breath. Her arms tense in the embrace. 

“Adilyn...”

Her voice is tremulous and hesitant.

“You were watching over me.”

“Adilyn.” Her hand comes up and presses against Adilyn’s shoulder. Adilyn holds on tighter.

“No.”

“Adilyn!”

Her voice is sharp again, and with a blur of movement and a stab of pain in her shoulder, Adilyn finds herself with her back on the bed as Jessica pushes her away. When she looks up, Jessica is pressed against the doorframe with her hands behind her back. She’s breathing heavily through her nose (her lips are clamped shut), and the longer Adilyn looks – eyes wide and confused – the more apparent it becomes that Jessica’s doing everything to avoid looking at her.

“Jessica?”

Jessica’s eyes catch hers for a millisecond before they shut tightly and the vampire shakes her head ‘no’.

Another gust of wind rushes through the window and ruffles the sheets as Adilyn moves to the edge of the bed. Instantly Jessica’s palm comes up and holds in mid-air between them. She turns away when she speaks, her face hidden behind the waterfall of her red hair.

“No, don’t come closer!”

Adilyn frowns, but complies. “What’s wrong?”

Slowly, Jessica looks up at her around the edge of her hair, her face appearing in slivers of silver like a slowly waxing autumn moon, and it isn’t just the brisk breeze across her clothes (she didn’t change before sleeping) that sends a chill down Adilyn’s spine: even in the dim light, Jessica’s fangs shine like diamonds.

Her blood freezes.

Jessica swallows thickly and tears her eyes away, hiding her face behind her hair. Her head falls down in defeat, and her voice shakes. “I… I should just – back away now.”

Silence falls, broken only by the lonely howl of the wind as it gusts through the open windows of the house. It stretches like the space between she and the vampire – Adilyn on the edge of the bed with her back rigid and her fingers tense on the covers, and Jessica turned away from her with her nails digging crescents into the hard wood of the doorframe behind her.

_This is nothing like my dream._

The thought hits her suddenly, and she gulps back a twinge of fear. This Jessica isn’t looking at her with lust. This Jessica isn’t in control. This Jessica isn’t going to tease her with fangs across her pulsepoint before placing a kiss instead.

The vampire breathes out heavily through her nose, and Adilyn knows that _this_ Jessica would instead sink her fangs straight into the artery beating against her skin in her throat, and suck the life from her within minutes.

“Are you alright?”

The words are said between tight lips over sharp fangs, and Jessica barely catches her eye when she asks it.

Adilyn nods. She wonders if vampires indeed barely need their sight, like dream-Jessica had said, and if the girl in front of her had felt the movement in the air between them when she nodded. When Jessica doesn’t respond, she croaks out softly, “Yes.”

Jessica looks at her, blue eyes searching her face worriedly. “What _was_ that?”

“I don’t know,” Adilyn answers honestly, wondering again at the shocking wake-up call and at the fairy-like magic she had felt pulsing through her body.

“Maybe it’s the effect of my blood. I don’t know what vampire blood does to fairies. Sookie is always fine, but you’re more fairy than she is, I guess.”

Silence falls as they both take in the answer. Vampire and halfling fairy – true halfling, not just a few drops of fairy blood so watered down that it’s a wonder that Sookie has any power at all. It’s no surprise Jessica can barely hold herself back – Adilyn’s magic is many times stronger than Sookie’s. And Jessica is practically a baby vampire - she hasn't had centuries to practice patience or prudence or restraint. She traces her eyes across Jessica’s body. Sometimes she forgets she’s technically only 17.

“Do you remember why you called my name?”

Jessica’s question comes out in a rush, as though she’d been holding it back and needed a moment of boldness to dare let it go.

_I had a dream about you._

Adilyn’s heart skips a beat and speeds up. She holds the vampire's gaze and realizes she’s searching for desire – for her blood, or for _her_ – in Jessica’s eyes while Jessica is searching for answers in hers.

The words die in her mind before they make it to her lips. Jessica gazes at her through blood-rimmed eyes, the curiosity half-hidden behind her perpetual guilt as though she’s afraid of letting any other feelings through, of appearing anything but loyal and repentant to her charge.

She doesn’t say the words, because this is nothing like her dream. But her heart is beating in the same steady gallop as before – as though it were trying to race and carry her straight to Jessica. She feels dizzy and light. She looks at the vampire, and she feels something she can barely identify, let alone control and hold still long enough to name. It dashes through her mind like a desert rabbit and slips through her fingers like smoke, eluding all attempts at capture. Her skin hums like it’s filled with sunlight, and she has to consciously hold herself back from following the insistent push of the wind and moving closer to Jessica.

But it isn’t just the wind pushing her, she realizes suddenly. It’s Jessica’s blood.

_It’s why I dreamed of her._

Her face crumbles with disappointment.

_It was just the blood._

_No._

Her feelings swell in denial, fighting against the truth _(it’s not real_ ). Her heart rattles in her ribcage as she runs through the memories again (she could run through them time and time again): the way Jessica had seduced her with her four senses; the press of Jessica’s lips against her own, biting with a gentleness that belied her very nature; Jessica’s hands curving across her body, circling her breasts and slipping between her legs.

Her body is responding as though it’s happening all over again.

_It’s just the blood._

_No._ Her mind still fights it, because how _can_ it be just the blood, when just the memories send her heart racing in excitement and her body aching with desire? When just the feeling of Jessica’s body against her in a tender hug made her feel _safe_ , while everything so far – in reality – has told her she should feel anything but that? How can it be just the blood bond she’s feeling when every time Adilyn catches Jessica’s eyes, she wants nothing more than to take away the guilt and the remorse she sees in their dark depths, and brush her forgiveness like a string of kisses across Jessica’s soul?

“Adilyn?”

Jessica’s voice brings her out of her reverie, and she rearranges her face to hide her emotions.

_It was just the blood._

“I just – uhm, wanted to thank you for protecting me tonight. For watching over me.” A pause. “You saved my life.”

Jessica’s still searching her face, and her eyebrows have come together trying to read Adilyn’s unfathomable expression. There’s a beat of silence, and Adilyn’s sure Jessica will call her out on the lie. But she’s wrong.

Instead, her face brightens with a tentative smile.

“You’re welcome.”

As though the smile were the cure, the vampire’s fangs retract with a sharp click.

“Oh, thank God.” Jessica lets out an embarrassed laugh. Her smile widens and she relaxes against the doorframe. “I hate it when they do that.”

Adilyn tries to smile, hoping it makes it to her face. Her heart is still hammering in her throat in denial, defending her feelings with the steady way it seems to beat completely for the girl in front of her.

_It’s the –_

She shakes her head to clear it – whether of the dizziness and the high she still feels, or the unwanted thought that’s just trying to _ruin_ it all, she’s not sure.

Jessica looks at her curiously, and she clears her throat self-consciously.

“Why _do_ they do that?”

Jessica’s smile fades, and Adilyn realizes she’s asked the wrong thing. She knows the answer: because Jessica’s starving and Adilyn smells like salvation.

She backtracks.

“I mean, _when_ do they do that? Like... only when you’re hungry?”

She swallows back the nerves at her boldness – perhaps it’s better to just get the truth out there. Also… if her dream is any indication, she thinks she knows the answer to this question as well.

Jessica’s sly smile is answer enough, but she replies anyway, in a voice seductive as sin.

“Among other things.”

“Like, around fairies?” Adilyn presses with an innocent smile. Jessica matches the smile, her sly grin spreading in surprise at Adilyn’s playfulness. Because they both know that’s not what Jessica meant.

Jessica shakes her head. “No, not all fairies. Just you so far.”

 _And my sisters,_ she thinks quietly, but keeps mum. 

“And I still smell good to you?”

Jessica throws her head back lightly and laughs as though it’s the most ridiculous question in the world.

“For your own safety – it’s probably best if you don’t remind me of how good you smell,” Jessica teases. She glances at the open window nervously when a sudden wave of fresh air wafts through it (a lock of her Adilyn’s hair escapes and falls across her forehead), but the responding flare of her nostrils is minimal. Adilyn sees the tension in her shoulders dissipate when the vampire remains in control.

Silence falls, but the strain is gone. Jessica’s face is calm, and her lips are pulled up in a half-smile. Adilyn wants to ask what she’s thinking about, but she doesn’t want to break the comfortable silence. Instead, she just looks.

Her eyes are more red. The blood around them is largely new, and it’s abundant. The smears of drying blood follow the curve of her eyes to her hairline where she tried to wipe it away, like terrifying crimson face paint for a very disturbing children’s party that Adilyn hopes no parents would ever host. She nearly laughs at her own musings, before it hits her that more blood means Jessica’s been crying again. Her heart aches for her. _I forgive you, I forgive you,_ it chants, but she holds her tongue. Because the bloody tears aren’t only for her or her sisters, she’s sure. Tara is dead. The world’s gone to hell.

She pushes the thought away, and lets her eyes move on. Jessica runs her hand absentmindedly through her auburn hair. Adilyn follows the movement longingly, remembering the dream when she’d had the freedom to run her own hands through Jessica’s hair. She doesn't have that freedom anymore. Red hair, red blood, red, red, red...

God, Jessica is beautiful.

_It’s the bl –_

She pushes the thought away, swings her legs onto the bed, and clears her throat. “How long will you protect me?”

Jessica looks up. Her vulnerable, worried frown is back. Adilyn thinks it may be a permanent addition to her face. She misses the carefree, teasing smile of her dreams. With every minute that passes, though, she realizes the weight of everything she did won’t let Jessica be free like that anytime soon.

“Don’t you know?”

She shakes her head _no._

Jessica’s eyes turn far away for a moment, and when she’s back she holds Adilyn’s eyes. Her lips turn up in a bitter smile, and Adilyn understands that Jessica doesn’t bear the weight subconsciously – she brings back the memories and the nightmares intentionally. She brings them back to stay in control and to remind her of her debt.

The moment is so significant and Adilyn’s sudden grasp of Jessica’s pain so poignant, she almost misses what the vampire says.

“‘Til death do us part.”

Her heart, previously calm with the silence, speeds up again, and she swallows to hide her sudden nerves. Jessica sees it, but misunderstands.

“Don’t worry, I won’t be lurking around your front door the whole time.” Her voice grows soft and even more bitter. “I’ll… figure something out.”

“You don’t have to. I don’t mind.”

“Really?” Jessica asks dryly as she raises an incredulous eyebrow and tilts her head pointedly. “You don’t think you’ll be a bit miffed when you get your own place in a few years and there’s a teenage vamp hovering outside your apartment making sure you get home safe?”

“That’s not so bad.”

“Or peering through your window when you take someone home?”

 _Convenient, because I want to take_ you _home._

She can’t help a smile breaking across her face at the thought. It doesn’t take a lot to remind her of her dream – her whole body is still humming like she’s right in the middle of it. And the thought of Jessica in her future apartment, walking around like she owns it (at least half) and smiling at her like she likes her for more than her blood (because she does) and kissing and touching her in the safety of their bedroom while the dawn shines against blinds (because she would) is enough to keep the smile and feeling firmly in place.

_Screw it. This can’t be the blood._

Jessica lifts an eyebrow at her. “Your heart just skipped a beat.” It seems some senses _are_ heightened after all (or Jessica is just very attentive to the beating of her heart). “Wait… were you thinking of _Wade_?” she teases, lips pulling back in an open smile.

“No!” Adilyn exclaims incredulously, her voice rising an octave.

Jessica’s not buying it. “Yes, you were!”

“No, I wasn’t!” 

“Puh-lease, I could hear your heart.” Her smile is as light and open as last night, when she was teasing her about Wade as well, and things were alright before everything suddenly wasn’t.

“I wasn’t thinking about Wade,” Adilyn replies petulantly.

“Oh, I think you were,” Jessica purrs, and her hands come out from behind her back. She prances closer jokingly, tilting her head from one side to the other gleefully as she sing-songs, “You were thinking of living with him,” a step closer, “and going on dates with him – ”

“No, I – ”

“– and kissing him,” Jessica puckers her lips playfully as she places a hand on the headboard between them. “And making sweet, sweet love to – ”

“I was thinking of _you_!”

Jessica’s face freezes in a comical expression of utter surprise.

If Adilyn wasn’t similarly frozen, she’d probably slap a hand over her mouth in shock. Or against her forehead. _Stupid, stupid, stupid._

“What?”

 _Well, it’s now or never,_ Adylin thinks as her heartbeat speeds up. She shifts on the bed, and it brings her closer to where Jessica is leaning on the headboard between them. She feels the space between them acutely. _Come closer._ It’s as much a memory as a new thought.

She open her mouth, but as soon as she does, she realizes she has no idea what to say or ask. _I’m so attracted to you. And I don’t think it’s just your blood. Also, I’m pretty confused about pretty much everything because I’ve literally been alive only a few months, but I’m especially confused about you and about the way I just want to be_ closer _to you, like_ all _the time, even though you killed my sisters and nearly killed me and I know you’re feeling so guilty, but I forgive you, and that’s really, really fucked up – I mean, screwed_ _up, Daddy says I shouldn’t curse – and …_

“I had a dream about you.”

She’s whole-heartedly relieved that _that’s_ what finally comes out.

Jessica continues to stare at her, her eyes never breaking contact. She licks her lips like she’s nervous - but, no,  _that_ can’t be right.

“What kind of dream?”

 _Oh God._ The memories hit her again – and hard, as though her body knows this is the only chance she’ll get. They wash over her nearly as strongly as when she’d woken up, and all she sees is Jessica. Jessica’s fangs tracing thin white scars across her neck. Jessica’s knee pressing between her legs against the wetness pooling there. Jessica’s hands tracing her naked figure with purpose. Jessica’s lips kissing the breath from her lungs. And Jessica’s fingers and then tongue slipping between her folds and working her up until she was crying her name so loudly it pulled her straight back to reality.

The pulses fade, and eyelids she hadn’t realized had closed flutter open again. Her cheeks are flushed with heat; her chest is rising in short, excited breaths; her heart is racing like a galloping horse again ( _Take me to Jessica_ ); and her whole body is thrumming for release.

She catches Jessica’s intent gaze, and for a short moment, she think she sees her own desire reflected back. It's an infinitesimal moment, and after a millisecond, it’s gone, but it’s enough – even the possibility of it is enough to make something tighten and ache inside her, and a rush of heat releases to between her legs. She’s wet without even the slightest touch to her body.

Jessica’s nostrils flare just as a gust of wind rushes through the window and through Adilyn’s hair.  Jessica breathes in sharply as she picks up the new scent in the room.

Adilyn doesn’t know which scent has caught Jessica's attention – her blood or her arousal. The vampire's blue eyes gleam with desire. 

_Oh God._

_Hunger or lust?_

In any case – a sharp click breaks the silence like thunder, and the darkness in the room is suddenly broken as the moonlight catches on Jessica’s fangs like the first stars appearing in the night sky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Clearly, I'm sorry for the cliffhanger. I did not intend to add another chapter, but it got too long and I'm just so exhausted (must sleeeep). Hope it wasn’t too Twilight-ey, with the deus ex machina gusts of wind to make things interesting, hahaha... 
> 
> Please leave a comment! I really want to finish this story, but I'm working 50 hrs a week and without comments to feed it, I'm always scared I'll be too exhausted to be inspired. Let me know what you liked!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter! Sorry it's late! I needed it to be perfect. 
> 
> The soundtrack for this fic was Passenger's 'Whispers' because [this video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m3NalA0LhFI) gave me most of my inspiration. I recommend watching and listening to it while reading if you want to feel the hope in this chapter. If you're more into the angst, listen to "Brambles" by Arete. That one inspired this instalment most of all.

Jessica’s eyes are wide with surprise, as though the fangs are completely unexpected. Then she catches Adilyn’s eyes, and realization spreads across her face.

“Goddamnit!” she hisses suddenly. In a flash, she’s gone. Adilyn looks around wildly, and spots her in the hallway at the top of stairs with her hand slapped across her mouth.

Adilyn jumps up and rushes to her bedroom door.

“No, don’t go!” she cries desperately, against all reason, because when Jessica catches her eyes, there’s a hungry glint there that does nothing to convince Adilyn of Jessica’s self-control.

_Hunger or lust?_

Adilyn’s heart swells with hope for the latter while it speeds up with fear for the former.

The wind howls through the open window again and Jessica’s eyes go wide with dread when Adilyn’s hair whips around her face. The wind doesn’t blow far enough to reach the vampire where she’s gripping the stairwell to hold herself back, but Adilyn suddenly understands.

“It’s the wind!” It spreads her scent ( _please don’t let it be just my blood_ ). She slams the door to her bedroom without preamble, pressing herself against it as it shuts away the sound of the moaning storm.

“Better?”

Her sweaty palms slip against the door when Jessica looks up at her. The vampire’s eyes search her face and slip subtly across her body as though it’s the first time she sees her. Her eyes are wide and shocked, and behind the hand across her mouth, she breathes out quickly. She nods numbly, as though the question she’s answering is the least of her worries.  

Silence falls, and Adilyn searches Jessica’s face for a hint of an answer to a question she hasn’t asked out loud but that she hopes Jessica understood nonetheless.

No answer comes. The vampire avoids her eyes and remains frozen where she is, half bent at the waist and leaning on the balustrade like Adilyn’s lingering scent were a punch in the gut. The silence builds _(say something, say something, say something)_ until Adilyn can hear the growing storm outside again _._ It rages strong outside, but inside the house, she and Jessica are caught in the eye of it – the halls so silent it seems the air itself is holding its breath.

But the eye is a circle, and Adilyn knows they’ll eventually pass through the opposite side of it and right into the thick of the storm.  

“I’m sorry!” she finally blurts out. She takes a desperate step closer, pushing against the silence in the air as she breaks it with her voice. Jessica tenses. She continues closer nonetheless. “I’m stupid. I had a really, really crazy dream and woke up like I was dying or being born or _something,_ and you were, like, _right_ there and...” _and everything feels real. Nothing feels like it was a dream._ She swallows thickly. _And now nothing feels like it’s supposed to be._ “I shouldn’t have said anything,” she adds sadly, gaze falling to the ground.

“What was the dream about?”

Jessica’s question catches her off guard. She looks up to see the vampire gazing at her intently, the hand previously covering her mouth clenched in a fist by her side.

What is she going to say? What _can_ she say? She opens her mouth. “I – ”

She stops. Why is Jessica even asking that, when Adilyn’s sure that if the vampire can smell her skin, she can smell her arousal? Was it hunger she saw in her eyes after all, and not a hint of lust ignited by the thought of the dream?

Jessica saves her from replying or having to lie: “I dreamt about you too.”

Her heart skips a beat. “You did?”

“I always do.” Her lips quirk with something close to fondness, and when Adilyn catches her eyes, they’re softer than she’s ever seen them. But when Adilyn smiles in surprise, Jessica’s face freezes. As Adilyn watches, her smile breaking with confusion, Jessica’s face falls, and she looks away. Her frame sags in defeat, and when she speaks, her voice is tinged with regret and bitterness. “Nightmares.” She catches her eye tremulously, then looks away again. “I’m surprised you didn’t wake up to my screams.”

_Oh._

Silence falls. Adilyn breaks it before it threatens to break them. “That’s not what I – it wasn’t like that for me.” She adds softly: “Not tonight.”

“Was it – I mean, did we…?”

Adilyn holds Jessica’s gaze when she offers it. If the moment weren’t so tense, if her heart weren’t still beating in a mixture of fear and hope, and if the air weren’t so heavy, she would have trusted her gut and believed in the small spark of curiosity and hope she thought she saw in Jessica’s bright eyes. But the moment she sees it, it’s gone.

She nods apprehensively. _Did we ever._

Jessica appraises her like she’s hoping for something. That spark is there after all. Her breath catches as Jessica lets her loose lips taste the air. Her pupils widen. Adilyn is so caught in the depths of them she barely realizes the way Jessica’s hungry look flashes into confusion, guilt, and bitter resignation. It’s too fast too keep up, and Adilyn doesn’t understand, because all she feels is hope. It lingers in her soul like it jumped from Jessica’s eyes straight into her heart and strengthened everything she feels.  She presses her legs together as much to relieve the ache as to keep her feet where they are, because her blood is pumping adrenaline to every part of her body and she wants to fight Jessica’s resistance and fly straight into the vampire’s arms.

The thought is so utterly irrational, Adilyn could laugh. But it’s real. It’s not the effects of the blood. Perhaps the desire may partly be, but the way her heart is beating as though her chest can barely contain it is not. The fondness and trust she’d felt when Jessica relented and hugged her back is not.

She may only be a few months old, but this _has_ to be what the beginning of falling for someone feels like.

She’s so absorbed in the sudden realization, she doesn’t realize Jessica’s face has gone slack with sadness until the vampire speaks and her voice is flat and firm.

“It was just a dream.” Adilyn starts in surprise. The spark is gone. “You drank my blood.” The vampire swallows thickly. “Don’t worry, it’s just that.””

_No, it’s not._

“But – ”

“It’ll wear off.”

“But I don’t think – ”

“Adilyn – ”

“No, just listen – I feel someth – ”

“It’s just my blood!” Jessica’s voice is sharp and defensive. She straightens up and holds Adillyn’s gaze without flinching.

Adilyn stares back incredulously, because Jessica is lying _._ She’s standing in front of the girl, ready to bare her soul while the vampire could literally turn on her and be the end of her if, God forbid, the wind blows too hard, and she’s _lying_ to her _._ Jessica speaks again, nodding with finality. “It was just a dream.”

Something inside her snaps. _No, it wasn’t._

“Well, it’s the first one with you where you’re not hovering over my sisters’ lifeless bodies while I bleed to death on the ground next to them,” she snarls.

They’ve passed the eye of the storm. They’re right back in the worst of it.

As soon as the words leave her lips, she shrinks from them in regret because in front of her, something shatters inside Jessica. Her body crumbles like a stake to the gut and she breathes in sharply in pain. Her lip trembles against her still shining fangs and her eyes flash with betrayal.

“Jessica…”

Her body recoils from Adilyn’s outstretched hand as she steps closer. And her expression changes. Her lost, forsaken look fades away, and her jaw steels with resignation and sour admission. In a blur, she’s gone.

“Jessica!” Her cry falls on an empty hallway, and she looks around desperately. She spots her on the landing below. The vampire is framed in the front door.

“Wait!” she calls, and rushes down the stairs.  The vampire’s back is to her, and her shoulders are hunched sadly as she submits to the weight of her guilt again, but her head is tilted back as though she’s smelling the fresh night air and it’s tempting her to escape. Adilyn’s foot slips as she stumbles down the stairs. _Please don’t go._

“Jessica, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said – ”

“Uninvite me.”

Adilyn freezes, three feet from the threshold.  “What?” she breathes.

Jessica turns. A thin, fresh layer of blood rims her eyes, but nonetheless they’re hard as stone. “Rescind your invitation.”

“You’re leavin’?” Adilyn’s heart leaps with fear. The lamps on the porch shine brightly in the early night, but anything could be lurking where their light fades and darkness slides across the driveway and forest like a liquid. She stares past Jessica into the night. Not even a firefly in sight to break the thick shadows beyond the reach of the light. Her father is still out searching for Holly, and she has no power at all to keep her protector close. _Please don’t go._

“No. I’m keepin’ watch.” Jessica’s voice is flat and devoid of emotion, but when she swallows thickly, Adilyn sees a tremor in her jaw. Her fear fades to a dull ache. Only the sight of Jessica’s fangs still out holds it there. But the vampire’s fangs are pressing against red lips, and the ache of fear is nearly drowned out by the ache to press her own lips to them. She steps closer. Jessica steps back and crosses the threshold. The imaginary line hangs between them like no man’s land. Adilyn knows the line means nothing, not until she does what Jessica’s asking of her.

“Rescind your invitation.”

“No.” The answer is instant, and her heart pounds at her daring. But the thought of banishing Jessica from her house – from her heart – is unthinkable. Not when both their souls are bleeding with regret and Adilyn is sure that a touch (light but inviting) or a hug (chaste but comforting) or a kiss ( _oh God, a kiss…_ ) would be the cure for both their wounds. And if not a cure, at least a balm.

“Please.” The tremor Adilyn spotted is there again, and Jessica’s lips shiver as she begs the words.

“No.”

“Adylin – ”

“Is this because of what I said?” Her voice is sharp with apology. “Because I didn’t mean it and – ” _I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m –_

“No, you’re right. You’re not safe until you rescind it.” Jessica’s voice falls with resignation at the admission, like _she’s_ the danger and the darkness behind her is no more terrifying than daytime meadows simply devoid of light.

“I didn’t say that.”

“I know you didn’t,” Jessica holds her gaze, and her eyes are soft and sad, “but it’s true.”

“No, it’s not.” A beat. “I trust you.”

She’d said it last night. She’d meant it then because Jessica had shown nothing but loyalty and bravery in the face of death to protect her charge – trust seemed like the least she could give back, and she’d offered it without realizing she truly felt it. But tonight, she realizes what she says, and she knows it’s completely true. Because beyond the protection and safety Jessica offers, she gives Adilyn hope. She’s kind and honest and trying to be so hard to be strong and worthy of protecting her. And her eyes are rimmed with new blood at the pain and regret and memories she takes onto herself without complaint. And Adilyn is sure, if she were to touch her, her touch would be nothing but loving and gentle.

Jessica’s so _human_ , it takes Adilyn’s breath away. And Adilyn gives her her trust wholeheartedly. 

“Stop sayin’ that,” Jessica snaps sharply. “There’s _nothing_ I’ve done so far that should make you trust me.”

Adilyn nearly laughs, but Jessica’s eyes, brimming with red tears and guilt, stop her. “You nearly gave your life for mine.”

“I’m already dead.” A tear flows over, and Jessica wipes it away angrily, her frustration at the way her body betrays her pain clear.

Adilyn shakes her head in wonder, because how can Jessica think she’s nothing but already dead when the girl – not vampire, but loving, hurting, faithful _girl_ – is the only one who has ever made Adilyn feel so alive?

She takes a step closer and starts to say as much, but something stops her. Because in the moment of silence, Jessica has shrunk back in pain. A hand is on her stomach and she’s bent over in distress.

“Are you alright?” Adilyn asks worriedly.

Jessica takes in a sharp, shuddering breath, grits her teeth, and nods. Adilyn knows she’s lying.

_Why?_

Suddenly she notices the bite marks on Jessica’s arm from last night. They’re brown and dried, but they’re not gone. Adilyn can see the deep wounds and the clots of blood holding back more blood. _Why isn’t she healing?_

Jessica’s hand shakes as she wipes it across her clammy forehead. Adilyn’s eyes widen slightly. She’s never seen a vampire _shake_ before. She takes in Jessica’s slightly bent form, and realizes she’s barely standing up.

“Did you sleep?”

Jessica starts in surprise, eyebrows knitting together in confusion and forgetting her insistent demand to be uninvited for a moment.  

“Of course I did.”

“Then why do you look like you’re about to pass out?

Jessica holds her gaze without an answer as though she’s terrified of giving it, pressing Adilyn wordlessly to understand.

Suddenly, Adilyn does. “You’re starvin’.”

Jessica’s eyes close with hopelessness and a new ring of blood presses against her lower lashes. Silence falls as the admission hangs between them, before finally Jessica whispers, “I don’t know what to do.”

 _Feed._ She knows it’s the answer. They both do. But humans everywhere are infected with Hep V, the whole town is out searching for the missing parishioners of Bon Temps, and Tru Blood is as rare as a sated vampire these days. And Jessica is starving. The girl who offered her life for her is dying of hunger right before her eyes, wasting away as surely, if not quite as quickly, as the vampire that met its maker on the very spot Jessica is standing.

“Feed on me.”

The answer comes without a moment to consider. As soon as she says it, her heart jumps with fear at what it means. She’s experienced it before – Jessica’s fangs slicing her neck, her pulse slowing as her blood leaves her body, the edge of her vision fading to black… and it terrifies her beyond words. But tonight is different. Jessica cares. And Adilyn trusts her.

Even if the vampire doesn’t trust herself: “No, I’ll lose control again.”

“Let me feed you,” Adilyn pleads. She wants to step closer, to cover the threshold, but the look of hunger in Jessica’s eyes holds her back. She trusts her, but somehow the imaginary line between them feels like safety, and beyond it, a threat. She shakes the thought off, but doesn’t cross the threshold. “One vampire for – ”

“Don’t give me that crap,” Jessica snaps as she eyes Adilyn’s certain expression with apprehension.

Adilyn continues with confidence she hopes seems real, as though there had been no interruption. “One vampire for every – ”

“ _Human._ You’re fairy. You’re like heroin.”

“One human for – ”

“You think I could ever stop feeding?”

“ – every vampire.”

“ _No!_ ”

Jessica’s shout is sharp with bitter rage and heartbreak, and Adilyn feels tears of misery spring to her eyes. This isn’t how it’s supposed to go. This isn’t how any of this was supposed to go. Only a few minutes ago, she was searching Jessica’s eyes for lust and finding hope. A few minutes ago, her body was humming with desire as Jessica’s eyes roamed over them hungrily. Now, her throat is tight with fear and heartache at the pain she sees in Jessica’s bright eyes and exhausted body, and she wants to reach out and wipe the tears away. She wants to fall on her knees and beg, beg her to let her feed her and save her like she saved her last night. And against all odds, she wants to step across the threshold after all and give in completely to the trust she feels. Because she’s falling for the girl in front of her.  

_It isn’t just the blood._

“I will protect you from right here,” Jessica’s voice is firm and unyielding as before, but her eyes are soft with fondness when she says, “I’m not leavin’ you.”

Adilyn’s heart skips a beat. _Take the step._ She doesn’t, not yet.  “Good,” she simply answers, her face breaking into a tentative smile.

Jessica doesn’t return the smile. Her lips quiver as though the words she says burn like sunlight as they pass her lips. “But you need to uninvite me, because unless you do, I am as much a threat to you as any vampire out there. More, even, because I’ve had a taste of you.”

Adilyn’s stomach leaps. She can’t help but remember her dream – Jessica’s fingers coating her lips in wetness and fangs drawn and sharp as Jessica’s tongue retraced the path of her fingers. Jessica _has_ had a taste of her – dream _and_ real-life, even if the two were very different. _Taste me again,_ her whole body shouts in the oppressing silence.  

“You wouldn’t hurt me.”

Jessica shakes her head with a frown. “Rescind it.”

“You controlled yourself last night.” _Take the step_. “You can do it again.” Her hand comes up on the doorframe to steady herself, because her heart is fluttering in her chest and making her dizzy with fear and raw emotion.

“No, I can’t!” Jessica’s voice breaks. “I nearly killed you before. I’ll do it again.”

Her hand steels on the doorframe as she prepares to cross. Jessica doesn’t see.

“I couldn’t bear it if something happened to you, if I hurt you again.”

“You won’t. I trust you.”

_Take the step._

“You shouldn’t.” Adilyn’s mind swirls with memories from last night. _She’s mine._ _Do not invite me in. You shouldn’t._ “I killed your sisters.” Her voice breaks.

Adilyn’s heart nearly breaks in response. _I forgive you, I forgive you._ “Jessica...” Her toe nudges the edge of the line between them. Jessica sees it, and instantly puts up both hands in supplication.

“No, please, _please_ , stay in the house!” she cries desperately. The vampire looks behind her into the oppressing darkness as though she’s considering running from Adilyn, escaping temptation and breaking her promise. But she stays in place, a look of fear clouding her eyes as though she thinks Adilyn would run right after her and leave the safety of the house completely.

She would. Against all reason, she would.

She searches Jessica’s face for something more than the torn, raw emotion that’s pulling her eyebrows together in a vulnerable, hurt expression. She searches for hope, for desire, for a hint of what _she’s_ feeling. She finds only pain, and she knows what she wants to do.

_Heal._

She reaches out a hand slowly. It suspends between them over no man’s land, a peace offering and a balm for both their pain.

“Adilyn, no…” Jessica’s eyes beg with unshed tears and uncertainty.

Her fingertips brush Jessica’s jacket, but she can’t reach further.  She prepares to step across the threshold. Like last night, her feet feel like lead with the fear and uncertainty still coursing through her veins, but it’s drowned out by her heart – _I trust you._ As though Jessica reads her mind, a look of alarm flashes across her face, and instantly she’s closer than Adilyn has even seen her. Her hands are in the crook of her elbows, holding her in place inside the house, and her eyes swim with angry tears.

“Goddamnit, I _murdered_ your sisters!” she nearly shouts.

Her heart skips with painful memories – the vicious, unexpected attack on the night that had started out so innocently; the cries of her sisters while they huddled together in fear and whimpered for their father; the moment her eyes opened and she realized it hadn’t all been a dream. Through sheer power of will, she holds back the tears. But nonetheless, Adilyn sees Jessica’s guilt-wracked admission for what it is: a deflection. A push. A sharp lashing out of a wounded girl whose guilt weighs so heavily, she doesn’t think she deserves forgiveness or love.

The moment she realizes it, she sees beyond it, and finds exactly what she thought she’d seen upstairs: a hint of hope, a glimmer of longing for forgiveness, and a desperate yearning – for _her._

Her heart feels like it grows two sizes, and though it constricts in a momentary fear, she doesn’t let it stop her from leaning forward and pressing her lips against Jessica’s.

The kiss is nothing like her dream. Because instead of kissing her back, Jessica sucks in a shocked breath and pulls away. Though her heart beats insistently to resist, to pull Jessica closer with the hands resting behind her neck, and to cross the threshold to throw herself into the vampire’s arms, she lets her go.

“I forgive you.”

The words slip out the moment her lips are free and she can see Jessica’s eyes. The vampire’s face is simultaneously slack with shock and strained with remorse. A frown tenses her eyebrows, and tears squeezes out of the corner of her eyes at Adilyn’s forgiveness – she doesn’t believe it.

“I forgive you.”

Her voice is strong, her words adamant, but perhaps they’re more like a band-aid on a bullet wound, because even though Jessica’s wounded expression eases, her tears continue to fall.

The words aren’t enough.

Adilyn pulls Jessica down to her, using all the strength she can. “I forgive you,” she murmurs the second before her lips crash against the vampire’s again, and suddenly she’s drowning. She’s dizzy and breathless and her kiss is desperate and nothing like in the dream because she doesn’t feel safe – she’s terrified. The softness of Jessica’s kiss from the dream, the safety of her arms around her, the slow burn of cool skin against hers – none of that exists here, in this moment. The kiss is craving made dangerous, sin made sweet. Her arms around Jessica’s neck are a demand, not an invitation. And the press of Jessica’s fangs in her lips feel like a constant reminder of what she’d rather forget. Because she’s still afraid. Even while she kisses and hopes and pulls Jessica close with unrelenting passion, her heart beats rapidly with terror that the fondness she feels can barely subdue. She begs consent, begs response, but is terrified to get it.

Jessica doesn’t give in completely – not yet – but Adilyn can feel her walls breaking down, chip by fragile chip. Her lips respond, but they tremble against Adilyn’s confident invitation. Her eyes close, but Adilyn remembers the dark doubt and unease they contained. Jessica’s breath escapes in a rush that she cuts off self-consciously, as though she’s fighting her body’s response to the kiss. “It’s just the blood,” she murmurs weakly against her lips, even while her arms circle around Adilyn’s waist and pull her closer. She scrapes her throat like she knows how unconvincing she sounds, but when she speaks again, Adilyn can barely hear a difference. “Both of ours.” Her voice is tremulous denial, absolving them both of responsibility. It’s giving Adilyn an out.

She doesn’t want it.

Against all odds, her lips twist in a smile into the kiss, and she pulls away slightly so she can hold Jessica’s gaze. Her eyes are dark and her pupils are dilated. Her eyebrows are furrowed with concern and a hint of hope. Adilyn doesn’t know if she’s ever seen anything as mesmerizing. _It’s just the blood,_ Jessica had said. Though her heart beats in her throat with nerves, her smile widens boldly, disarming the moment like diffusing a bomb.

“No, it’s not.”

Jessica searches her eyes with something bordering on despair, taking in the open, honest smile with glinting eyes that don’t believe the expression or words for a second. Her hands tighten in the small of her back, like she’s terrified Adilyn will pull away, will take back her words, will betray her, but Adilyn isn’t afraid. She’s not going to. She trusts her, she forgives her, and Jessica won’t leave her.

Neither of them are going anywhere.

The moment dawns on Jessica like the break of day, lighting up her eyes and smoothing her brow like a slow wave of light crashing over the dark landscape between them. And neither of them burns with the sun. Suddenly a smile breaks across Jessica’s face. She recognizes and believes what she sees in Adilyn’s expression, and her breath stalls in her throat with a vulnerable noise, like this is everything she’s been wanting – Adilyn’s forgiveness as much as her kiss – and has never been more relieved.

The admission falls from her lips with a grateful sigh. “No, it’s not.”

And then she tightens her hold and pulls Adilyn against her and kisses her with complete unrestraint.

Before, all Adilyn felt from the vampire was hesitation – Jessica’s shoulders tensing like a panther about to run from danger, her hold loose and uncertain around her body… But now, she kisses her like she’s holding onto Adilyn’s forgiveness and kiss like a lifeline. She breathes out into Adilyn’s lips like a knot inside her comes undone, and she’s giving in. She’s letting go, and Adilyn knows what the moment means.

Adilyn’s body soars with hope, and it isn’t just the way Jessica pulls her up until she’s on the tip of her toes. She’s in the eclipse again – she’s soaring past the sun. Jessica’s kiss and body and whole being is filling her with light, and she closes her eyes tightly and gives in to the moment. She doesn’t need to fill her heart with memories – she’s making new ones now. Jessica’s hands are at the small of her back and between her shoulder blades, holding her close to her body like she’s afraid they’ll both break without the press of each other. Jessica’s breath dries their lips even as the kiss wets them again, competing forces that make Adilyn shiver with pleasure. Jessica’s lips mold across hers, navigating carefully – reverently – around the danger of her fangs like every moment is another promise of safety in the face of temptation.

And she’s returning it all. Every time Jessica’s fingers dip into her back when the kiss turns more passionate, Adilyn’s hand twists in at the back of Jessica’s neck and buries deeper into her hair, relishing her freedom to do so. Every time Jessica’s tongue dips into her mouth and asks for an invitation, Adilyn gives it wholeheartedly, parting her lips eagerly and letting out a shuddering breath when Jessica’s tongue slides against them. Every time Jessica tilts her head and lets Adilyn take the lead, a burst of light explodes behind her eyes, and she translates the unexpected sunburst into _passion, passion…_

She’s burning from the inside out, and _god_ , it feels like salvation.

She doesn’t know how long they kiss. It could be all night, and it would still be too short. The kiss turns more desperate, all eager lips and roaming hands. A hand slips under her shirt and slides across her bare skin. Adilyn sucks in a sharp breath of surprise. Jessica grips her blouse at her back like she wants to tear it off her and pulls her against her like she wants to be pressing her into a bed. And Adilyn wants her to. She knows where this could go. And she wants it to. 

But suddenly, the moment is broken by a sharp stab of pain in her bottom lip. They jerk back from each other in mutual surprise.

Adilyn brings her fingers to her lips to soften the pain. When she pulls them back, her fingertips are covered in blood. She looks up into Jessica’s shocked, apologetic eyes. The girl's expression is so genuinely and almost comically surprised, Adilyn’s worry eases instantly, and she smiles reassuringly.

“Ow.” The small word slips from her bleeding lips like she’s making a joke ( _You do_ not _kiss by the book)_ and her smile absolves Jessica instantly of guilt.

The vampire begins to smile in response, understanding Adilyn’s intention, but a drop of blood neither of them had noticed slides down the length of a fang and falls soundlessly onto her bottom lip. The vampire licks her lip unthinkingly. The stain of red disappears into a smudge of crimson on her tongue.

Adilyn stops breathing.

Because as soon as Jessica’s throat constricts as she thoughtlessly swallows her blood, Adilyn knows what will happen.  She knows it like she knows her own heart – the way it’s beating beautifully for the girl in front of her. She knows it like she knows she isn’t imagining the pooling of heat between her legs that rushed there wonderfully the moment Jessica _really_ kissed her. She knows it’s coming, and she’s absolutely frozen in terror.

The moment happens in slow motion. One second, Jessica’s eyes are wide with surprise and apology, the hint of a smile still lingering on her lips at the unexpectedness of the kiss and the bite and the emotions setting the air between them on fire – and the next, her eyes cloud over as the blood drips down her throat and she really _tastes_ it. Her pupils widen with hunger and lust as one mixes with the other until there’s nothing but a pool of black, twisted desire left where previously there was light and faith and, Adilyn hopes, something approaching love.

It only takes a second, but it’s long enough for Adilyn to see Jessica lose control.

_So this is what falling into chaos looks like._

There’s nothing she can do. The girl in front of her isn’t Jessica – her humanity is stripped from her as her hunger takes over. What’s left, when light is replaced by oppressing darkness, isn’t Jessica. Moments ago, they were flying together, burning wonderfully from the inside out as they soared and soared and soared. But they pushed too hard. And now, like Icarus, they’re falling to the ground with burning wings.

The world is still going in slow motion, because although she knows instinctively that Jessica is moving at light speed to cross the small distance between them and sink her fangs into her throat or lick it from her bleeding lips, the movement is no faster than the moment Jessica had leaned in for a kiss.

She closes her eyes.

“ _I rescind your invitation!”_

The words come from somewhere inside her that she has never looked and couldn't find again if she tried. Her eyes had closed with resignation and powerlessness and her body had given in, ready for the end that Jessica’s bite would bring as the vampire’s hand had tightened viciously around her wrist, ready to pull her to her doom - but her subconscious, her feeling of self-preservation, her survival instinct, is not so easily subdued.

She thanks her lucky stars she never crossed the threshold of the front door.

Jessica’s grip on her wrist is gone, and she jolts back as though an invisible whirlwind pulls her away from the door. Her hair billows around her face like fire, and Adilyn’s heart skips a beat at how terrifyingly beautiful she looks, despite the feral, unrestrained look of hunger in her eyes.

The gust of wind settles when Jessica’s feet find the wood of the porch. Only the raging wind of the storm remains to break the sudden silence.

It doesn’t take long for Jessica to return. Adilyn stands silently inside the house, a hand on her aching wrist where Jessica had grabbed her, and waits. It’s not a slow transition, like the falling into chaos of before was. Instead, Jessica’s starved desperation fades to horrified realization like being doused in a bucket of cold water. Eyes that previously were trained on the pulse beating beneath Adilyn’s skin on her throat or absorbed in the continuing dripping of the blood from her lip, finally lift up and catch her eyes.

Adilyn wipes her mouth self-consciously, because what she sees in Jessica’s eyes is almost too much.

This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. She nearly huffs with bitter laughter – she’s becoming a broken record. Her breathing is still short and fast and her heart is beating like it’s the end of their story (it almost was), and she can’t decipher what she’s feeling – fear, regret, lust… love. The emotions jumble together and cloud her mind until all she has left is to catch Jessica’s eyes after all.

She sees everything she thinks she feels reflected back at her.

The vampire opens her mouth to say something. Adilyn knows it intuitively that it’s going to be _I’m sorry._ She doesn’t need it. She already knows. So she shakes her head subtly, and Jessica freezes before she makes a sound. Her blue eyes, still rimmed with blood, search her face worriedly, and Adilyn wishes she could soothe the regret and remorse and sudden guilt that’s taken the place of relief and love that the kiss and her forgiveness put there.

Words don’t work. So she smiles tenderly instead, trying to infuse as much forgiveness and affection into the expression as she can. 

_It’s alright._

Their gazes lock and someone throws away the key.

_Quite a pair we make._

Jessica opens her mouth to say something again, but the moment she does, her voice breaks and she swallows bashfully. She has no idea what to say. What _can_ she say? What can she _do?_ The threshold is the barrier between them, and even a soothing, conciliatory touch is out of the question. Adilyn doesn’t mind. Her shoulders sag with emotional fatigue, even though she slept all night, and Jessica’s hands quiver with exhaustion. Enough has happened tonight to fill her mind for weeks to come.

It wasn’t just the blood.

The kiss was real.

And what they feel for each other is far from over.

The knowledge fills her with hope and it pushes away the gloom that threatens to obscure all the _good_ that happened tonight in wake of the bad. It’s enough for tonight, so she steps back soundlessly and starts to close the door. The girl in front of her starts in alarm, searching Adilyn's face for the forgiveness she suddenly fears she had imagined. Adilyn soothes her worry with a loving smile.

“Goodnight, Jessica.”

Jessica’s frown smoothes out. She understands. She hasn't imagined anything, and Adilyn hasn't retracted anything at all. She swallows to clear away the emotion, and nods subtly. Her voice is frail but fond.

“Goodnight, Adilyn.”

The door clicks closed between them, and a hush falls on the empty house as the storm is shut away. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading and reviewing! I'm almost sad it's over, however short the story was, because your reviews inspired me so much. It would mean the world to me if you leave a comment with likes or feedback. What was your favorite line or moment? What do you think will happen? If you're a writer, have any tips about my style? Should I do some things more or less in my writing?
> 
> Either way, thank you!

**Author's Note:**

> Update as of August 2014: I'm working on a sequel! And it's a long one (like 140K words)! I expect to publish the 1st chapter/prologue anytime between October and November, when my surgical internships are over. 
> 
> Bookmark me to stay up to date! :D


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